Buy Some Cat Hair!

In my search to find a pet, I've discovered that it would be in bad form for me to get one right now as I'm never home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
So I started looking into cats... seeing as how they really dont need anyone in their lives. Granted, the girl I work with made a comment, "dont get a cat if you want a girlfriend." Damn.
I've found out that there are "genetically engineered" cats that are hypoallergenic.
((one of them looks like a tiny leopard... and costs $31,000))

This site will even send you a test to see if you are allergic to their cats.

Essentially, for $10 they'll send you a box of cat hair for you to rub your face in.
That... is hilarious to me.

Come on... thats funny. It just sounds like an evil trick perpetrated by cat owners.

Spiderman 4 Auction

Seriously?
There's an auction on eBay right now selling a VIP Experience for the movie.
Walk on role. Premiere. Meet and greet. All that.

Here's my problem...
Spiderman 4 isn't even in production, much less a script. None of the actors are even signed up for it, yet. Though, they want $5,000 starting bid.

Funny Shi(R)t

Kim just turned me on to Threadless Tshirts.
It's like Woot! shirts, but you dont have to wait 24 hours for the funny.

I'm a big fan of Afternoon Delight:


And I just made this bad boy my wallpaper at work:

Prehistoric Cranial Infestations

Before the advent of Sudafed, and the discovery of "nose blowing," I can only assume that early man assumed that cranial pressure combined with a clearish, oily discharge was evidence that some sort of creature has taken up residence in their skull.

Remedy:
Crack skull open to release it.
Jam tools/hooks into sinus cavities via the nose to kill/remove creature.

Result:
Death

Moral of the Story:
Further reason why I would not survive in the early days.

Weekend Of A Four Days

Not Quite A Lifetime

So I shall be throwing myself into my car in about 1 hour to hit the road to drive to Little Rock to sleep for a few hours before heading into Texas for a weekend of Nine Inch Nails.

1,367 Miles
21 Hours and 33 Minutes

Enthusiastic Sandwich

Last night I was starving so I went to Jimmy Johns and got a #10 with no tomatoes and extra cheese. Mmm. However when I got it home I discovered that instead of 1/4 pound of roast beef there was Sprouts, Lettuce, Cheese, and Mayonnaise. Obviously they thought I had ordered the McNasty.

So, grudgingly I went back to the store.

Let me set the scene, a little:
I walk into the store and Baba O'Riley was playing on their radio. It was the part of the song with the organ...
Nah nah nah nah NAH nah NAH nah nah...
At the counter, I smile and say this, "this isn't a #10"
NAH NAH nuh Nah...
"Not a 10?"
NAH NAH NAHnah nah nah ...
"Nope."
Nah nah nah nuh NUH...
"Sorry about that..."
NAH NAH NAH nah nah nah...
*he opens the sandwich to inspect it and laughs at the contents of the bun*
nah nah nah nah nah NAH nuh...
*I walk to the end of the counter to pick up my new sandwich*
nah nuh nah nuh nah nuh...
*walking out of the store with my new sandwich*
nah nah NAAAAAAH, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

It was Perfect.

Jack's A Nice Guy

Something I didnt know was that Jack Nicholson was pretty miffed about the fact that he was never consulted by Heath in his portrayal of The Clown Prince, and that he had something pretty serious to say when he was told Heath had died:

"Well, I warned him."

Parking Tickets

So I almost got a parking ticket today. I pulled up into one of the 20 minute metered spots outside my studio just now, and went inside. The conversations were taking much longer, and I knew in the back of my head that my meter had expired. Once I'm all done, I'm heading back to my car, and sure enough... there was a meter reader filling out a ticket for my car. Sure, I was upset, but it was my own fault. Shit Happens. However, when I approached my car and said Hello to the nice lady she asked me if it was my car. I said yes. She said, "Oh, no worries then. Off you go!"

Badass.
((granted I did have to offer her sexual favors to repay her))

Garfield Minus Garfield

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.

Origin of Spider Borland

In the past year my moniker known as Spider Borland has sort of taken off. People from all over know me only by this name. People I've even known from High School or before started calling me Spider. It kind of freaked me out at first, but I grew to accept it.
Emails, Bulletin Boards, MySpace, Facebook, and Personal Projects all have gained this tag of ownership.

I wanted to take a moment to talk about this names origin.

Back in 2001 I was in the second year of college. College males play video games. Bushido_Cedar introduced me to a little game called Ultima Online. One of the most ghetto, and widely played MMORPGs in the world... still.
The game is set in a medieval type world. Swords and Armors and Wizards and Dragons. All that. So I needed to create a name for my avatar (player character) that worked in this world. At the time my favorite band was Powerman 5000, and the crazy guitar player with the black contacts from Limp Bizkit was my hero ((Please Note: My favorite band is NOT Limp Bizkit, but I loved their guitarist)).





I remember clearly sitting on my couch in front of my computer ((yeah, that's how I roll bitches!)) and needing a name. I didn't just need a name, I needed a persona. I character. Semi recently to this point I had purchased Big Dumb Faces new album Duke Lion Fights The Terror. That's when it hit me... I'll be Duke Lion-esque.

I paused and gazed around my room looking for inspiration. That's when I caught a glimpse of two posters: Spider One and Wes Borland. ((you've gotta be pretty dense at this point to not figure that one out))
So that's who I became in this world.
Spider Borland.
I even donned black plate armor and sported a short yellow afro, much like Duke Lion does on the cover of the CD. ((Carrying a golden sword was a lot harder in Ultima Online)) While I was based on Duke Lion, I was still very much Spider Borland.

Spider Borland became very respected on the Leavarius Shard. ((This was the name of the Free Server I played on)) He was never very good, but everyone knew who he was because of the stories he'd tell.

2-3 years go by while I continue to play. During this time "Spider Borland" was confined to the UO Universe. I'm really not sure the moment in which Spider began to broaden his horizons and ambitions. I believe it might have been with AOL Instant Messenger... then maybe an email address... finally culminating with the MySpace page. From then on out, whenever I signed up for any sort of community, I was known as Spider Borland. I believe the current, correct way to type it out is [spider.borland]. That kind of gives a with_teeth, Nine Inch Nails spin on it.

It was with the communities that I became members of that the moniker took off. My photoshop art has been become semi legendary on Echoing The Sound, and I sort of became a local hero on the Black Light Burns message board ((visit that board at your own risk, as it has become over run with Spammers)). Sadly, the board has fallen on hard times, but before that had happened, the moderation of the board was offered to me: Spider Borland. I've even met the band a few times, and they all know me as Spider Borland. ((I'm even mentioned in the commentary on the DVD Anvil Pants Odyssey

So there you have it... I think.
Hope that was informative.

Duane Dog Chapman

After all the controversy last year because of Dog's racist statements tainted anything that he had ever done. I felt like things had gotten blown out of proportion, but it was what it was.

I was watching MindFreak ((yeah, it's true)) and A&E announced that NEW episodes of DOG will airing.
This made me very happy! I never watched the show regularly, but I did watch.
I think he's a cool guy.

Television Music Observation

I was just flipping through the channels and I scanned over GAC and CMT.
((Great American Country and Country Music Television))
It then dawned on me that there are two channels for country music... and there are two channels for "rock/pop/rap."
...
There's a HUGE difference, though. GAC and CMT actually play music!
What's up with that?

And this is funny...

This is the Maine Beck

Lobsters and Clams so just wash you hands, just wash your hands!
...gross, that's definitely not "where it's at."

I feel like I should have so much more to say right, considering that I've been gone for almost 2 weeks.
Wedding in Vermont.
Lobster in Maine.
but...
Hungover in Arkansas.